Understanding Pain & Unhappiness
In this post we look at the personal experience of pain or unhappiness and how yoga can address it. Our earlier posts talk about the promise of yoga and what is yoga
There is probably no one on earth who has not experienced some form of unhappiness, challenge or pain. This is most poignantly highlighted in the story of kisa-gotami. Her only child has died and she is distraught. Going from one place to another, from one person to another asking for some way to bring her child back to life so her pain can be relieved, she finally reaches the Buddha. In his infinite wisdom and compassion he tells her that it is possible if she can get a handful of mustard seeds from a house where death has never visited.
She goes from one house to another and leaves every house empty-handed and finally returns thus to Buddha realizing that her child cannot be brought back to life, but also feeling less distraught. Perhaps, through this process she begins to hold the pain of her personal experience alongside the realization that death is an inevitable part of the life process. This story also beautifully highlights another important point:
While external events may be a cause of great pain to us, the relief we experience is not because the external circumstances have changed, but something within us has changed.
While the story of Kisa-gotami brings us in touch with pain due to a very deep personal loss, we can all connect to an experience where we have wanted relief from some kind of pain. And we maybe running helter-skelter for relief from it in one way or another. It is here that yoga can be an amazing resource and support, like Buddha was in this story.
Yoga can not only help reduce physical/physiological pain and discomfort, the promise of yoga lies in addressing the suffering present at the psychological level (dukham), whether there is physical pain or not.
Here are some examples to understand this further. Let us take the instance when ones has symptoms of a physical illness such as cold, cough, fever, diarrhea, headache, back pain, indigestion, menstrual cramps. If this physical problem does not disturb the state of one’s mind greatly, then there is not much mental-emotional disturbance, despite whatever discomfort there may be at the physical level. However, for most of us, a physical condition is almost always accompanied by a disturbance to the state of our mind. At the very least, we may get frustrated as to why this had to happen to us now, of all the times! It feels like life is throwing a spanner at us, and bringing us to a grinding halt with all the personal, household, career, work, vacation, learning plans! We may be shocked that this happened to us, despite all our care and precautions. We may feel anxious about how long this will last or what to do about it. This adds an emotional layer to the physical or physiological discomfort.
Sometimes, even when there is no physical illness, life events can cause mental and emotional disturbances.
A sudden change in the home front, or workplace; being forced to do something, starting college, starting a new job, getting married, starting a family, challenges and conflict in relationships at work or home, identity issues, moving to a new place, unexpected illness of a family member, retirement, etc. can create mental-emotional disturbances. The list is endless.
At other times, there maybe no physical illness, or life event. But we suffer due to our repetitive thoughts about the past or the future, creating myriad emotions (fear, anxiety, worry, grief, anger, restlessness, etc.). We suffer because we are yet to understand or make peace with our unique life experience - including any personal weaknesses, contextual limitations, resource constraints etc.
Yoga offers many tools to reduce physical pain and discomfort, as well as mental-emotional suffering by helping us look deeply into its root causes. It is not a looking that comes through analysis, but a seeing or insight that comes through a concrete experience or a series of actions (sounds familiar from our previous post?). This is what Kisa-Gotami experienced perhaps as she went from one house to another, instead of Buddha telling her or giving her a spiel or tip on “death is universal, get over it”.
Beyond relieving pain at different levels, continuing one’s yoga journey with an experienced teacher, helps build resilience and immunity to handle life experiences. We learn to pick ourselves up with grace, dignity and love, even anticipate falls and catch ourselves without hurting badly. If we continue further, yoga promises a sense of deeper well-being irrespective of the quirks of our life experience, that is perhaps best highlighted by another favorite story.
There was once an old farmer… One day, his horse ran away. “This is so sad and unfortunate!” his neighbors said. “Sad yes, but unfortunate or not, who knows!” replied the farmer. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it a few other wild horses. “Such good luck!” his neighbors said. “Maybe” replied the farmer. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the wild horses, was thrown off, and broke his leg. “Such bad luck!” his neighbors said. “Good or bad, I wonder” replied the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army to fight in a war. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. “Such good luck!” his neighbors said. And you know the farmer’s response by now….
Yoga is not a guarantee to avoid all that we are afraid or fearful about happening in our life, but a way to develop the ability to live life from a place of strength, wisdom and compassion (that Buddha offered to Kisa-Gotami) to ourselves and others, as we go through the ups and downs of life.
So whether you are in pain at the physical, physiological or mental-emotional plane, yoga can do something for you. The various services at Vishoka are designed to guide you on this journey. Are you ready to embark on it? Connect with us today.
Written by - Anita Balasubramanian
